MISHICOT, Wis. (WFRV) – Wednesday evening, there was an important community conversation in Mishicot on ‘sextortion.’
Leading the conversation was John DeMay, a Marquette, Mich., dad, who lost his son Jordan to suicide four years ago after Jordan fell victim to a ‘sextortion’ scheme.
“Every time I hear of another story or watch the news and see another case and add another parent to our list, it’s heartbreaking,” DeMay told Local 5 News.
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Four years ago, Nigerian men reached out to Jordan posing as a teenage girl. They lured Jordan into sending explicit photos of himself, then threatened to send those photos to all of his friends and to his family if he didn’t pay them a significant amount of money.
Jordan paid what he could, but the demands kept on getting higher. When he could no longer afford to pay, he took his own life. All of this happened over the span of six hours at John’s house while he was sleeping in another room.
Authorities extradited two of the men involved from Nigeria to the United States. Samuel and Samson Ogoshi pleaded guilty to conspiracy to sexually exploit a minor and were sentenced to over 17 years in prison.
Since his son’s death, John has made it his mission to do everything he can to make sure no other family has to go through what his did. He travels the country educating the public about ‘sextortion.’
“That’s the problem with this crime, it’s so difficult to see in these young people, especially young teenagers, because they’re so private,” John said.
He told Local 5 News that the biggest thing he wants to instill in the kids who came to hear him speak is that you’re never alone and there’s always somebody to talk to. He also wants to help parents prepare to potentially have these difficult conversations with their children.
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“We just have to do everything we can do to have open dialogue with our kids and teach them how to come to us even with the most frivolous things they might see online,” John told Local 5 News. “Be open-arms and accept what they say when they come to you.”
According to John DeMay and Mishicot police chief Paul Granger, there are several red flags that can indicate that ‘sextortion’ is taking place.
- The conversation quickly transitions from casual to sexual.
- The person insists on moving the conversation to a different app. This could indicate they’re trying to go to an app where it is harder to track conversation or where it’s less likely that their profile would get flagged or deleted.
- If the person is making basic grammar or spelling mistakes or how they’re phrasing things doesn’t jive with how people usually talk to each other when they’re using their messaging apps.
- If the person insists that you include your face in the explicit photo they want you to take. They know if that the photo doesn’t have your face in it, you can deny it’s you and their scheme won’t work.
Chief Granger said that, in general, you should always be skeptical about anybody you meet online and should never reveal personal information or send compromising photos. If a person finds themselves in a situation where somebody is demanding money in exchange for not releasing compromising photos, Chief Granger offered some advice.
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“Cease communication with that person immediately; they aren’t who you think they are,” he said. “Save evidence so that we can help you if it turns into a criminal investigation, but the worst thing that you can do is to not tell anyone and sit in silence.”
He said to make sure to report the offending account as well, and never send a person money, even if they’re threatening to release compromising pictures.
“So if you think that you can get out of this by spending that initial amount that they ask for, then you are wrong,” he said. “They are going to keep going and keep threatening.”
The event on Wednesday in Mishicot also included a question-and-answer session with law enforcement officials. A local family that had a similar story to the DeMay family also helped organize the ‘sextortion’ awareness event. They also raffled off gift baskets at the event to raise money for future sextortion awareness and education events.
A family member told Local 5 News that it meant the world to her that so many people came out to the event on Wednesday night.
“Let kids know that they aren’t alone, this is happening all over the planet, not just in our country, our state, Mishicot or Marquette or wherever, it’s happening everywhere,” John DeMay added. “(We need to) do a really good job of letting kids know that, hey, we know that this is happening out there, we know this is happening to you, that you’re being targeted. And if it happens to you, it’s okay, this is a crime (and it’s not your fault).”
For more information on ‘sextortion,’ including resources to help if you fall victim please click here.
